Chapter 11 – The Baby’s Crying

During the first five minutes of life, crying is one of the indicators assessed in the Apgar score, which evaluates a baby’s vital signs. If the baby cries, it means they are breathing well and have good reflexes. A baby’s cries, together with their intense gaze, facial expressions, and movements, instinctively elicit tenderness in caregivers—a reaction that turns into an unavoidable sense of protection. For at least the first three months, crying is the baby’s primary way of communicating to attract their caregivers’ attention and ask for help. Babies cry if they’re hungry, thirsty, too hot or cold, in pain, uncomfortable, or separated from a familiar adult figure. They cry to seek physical contact and cuddles. Some animal species’ young can be apart from their parents for long periods and don’t need to feed frequently. Humans evolved differently: like other primates, we carry our babies and feed them often. That’s why a baby cries when left alone for too long and why crying usually stops when an adult picks them up, rocks them, or simply offers attention (12).

From the very first days, one of the main challenges for new parents is trying to understand this unique form of language, to respond to their baby’s needs. It’s not easy—it can cause confusion, especially for mothers who might feel inadequate. But it’s important to give yourself time to get to know each other. It may take several weeks to start syncing with your baby and understanding what they’re trying to express through crying.
Never panic or try to silence the baby immediately by offering a pacifier or the breast—it may not address the real cause of discomfort. It’s better to hold the baby, reassure them with your presence, and observe closely to identify what’s wrong. Crying always deserves a response; ignoring it to avoid “spoiling” the baby can be harmful. Sure, the baby might eventually stop, but they risk becoming less communicative and more insecure as they grow. Sometimes, crying cannot be soothed—just being there calmly is enough to prevent your stress from further agitating the baby and starting a vicious cycle.

If, despite all your efforts, the baby cries inconsolably or in an unusual way, it’s best to consult a pediatrician to explore potential causes. There are many types of cries, and they’re hard to classify because each baby communicates differently and often cries for more than one reason at a time. Only someone who’s constantly with the baby can eventually learn to distinguish them.

Here are some types of crying that are easier to recognize:

Hunger: This is the easiest to identify—it’s strong, intense, and can start gradually or suddenly. Often, the baby’s eyes are shut, fists clenched, arms flailing. Crying is a late hunger cue, and waiting too long can make feeding more difficult due to distress. It’s better to feed on demand, watching for early hunger signals: smacking lips, turning head, sucking on hands or wrists.

Sleepiness: This starts as a whimper. The baby seems restless, can’t find a comfortable position. Holding and gently rocking usually helps—movements slow, heart rate drops, and sleep begins. However, once placed in the crib, they might cry again. In that case, try skin-to-skin contact, which is very soothing, even after vaccinations or blood tests. Each baby has their own preferences—some like vigorous rocking, others prefer gentleness. Some need caresses; others just want to be held without too much stimulation. Babies often calm when swaddled, rhythmically rocked with their tummy on your chest, or soothed with soft “shhh” sounds. Babies can sense whether the caregiver is emotionally engaged—if someone rocks them without talking, smiling, or even stares at a phone, they’ll likely feel uneasy.

It’s crucial that tired or stressed adults ask for help so they can rest and return with renewed energy (14).

Pain: A sharp pain (like from a bump or vaccine) causes a sudden, intense cry, followed by whimpering, then calm. Hold and soothe the baby gently with your voice. Colic cries, however, are usually inconsolable—they start suddenly, the baby turns red, curls their legs to their belly. This often occurs in the evenings during the first 1–3 months of life. There’s not much parents can do other than try comfort techniques (some of which are mentioned in the chapter on sleep).

Overstimulation or general discomfort: This cry is similar to a tired cry but the baby struggles to sleep. They may be tense, restless, and cry intermittently. They could be too warm, too cold, have an irritation, or need a diaper change. Once you’ve ruled those out, the best solution is to stay close and let them vent while reassuring them with your presence.