Chapter 4 – The Importance of Contact

Providing a newborn with an environment rich in care and affection lays the foundation for a more emotionally stable and positive adult life. According to British psychologist John Bowlby, the father of attachment theory, babies are born with a biological predisposition to form attachments with those who care for them. This attachment has a biological function—to protect the infant—and a psychological function—to provide a sense of security (15).

This relationship is essential for the child’s psychophysical well-being and will influence the development of their personality and the choices they will make as adults. When a baby feels welcomed in a familiar environment, and the caregiver is present and responsive to their needs, the baby feels understood, safe, and calm. These emotions and sensations will be echoed in their future relationships, even in adulthood. They will also help develop the ability to cope with trauma or challenging moments.

Inside the mother’s womb, babies are protected, enveloped in a muffled and warm space that makes them feel secure and peaceful. Once born, the change is sudden and intense. Only the close presence of the parents—especially the mother—can comfort them again, offering warmth and containment through touch, especially hugging, and also through the scent of the skin and the sound of the voice, which babies are able to recognize, along with eye contact. These natural and instinctive gestures of care and closeness offer peace both to the baby and the mother. When a mother holds her newborn, looks into their eyes, or sings to them, she relaxes and feels serene. That is why, especially in the first months of life, the relationship is built through physical contact—from the very first moment after birth, when the baby is placed on the mother’s belly and they reconnect.

It’s no coincidence that we speak of endogestation, referring to the nine months of pregnancy, and exogestation to describe the first months after birth—underlining the continuity between the “before” and the “after.” This continuity also applies to the baby’s needs, which remain the same: the need to be in contact. Cuddles and tenderness are never excessive. Holding a baby, comforting them, and lovingly responding to their fears and need for closeness is not spoiling them.
On the contrary, physical contact helps the baby not only to feel safe but also to perceive their own physical boundaries through a sense of containment. Through gentle caresses, hugs, diaper changes, baths, or massage, parents help their baby “feel” all parts of their body and understand their shape (16). In doing so, they help them perceive the world and grow.